Sci-Fi Baseball Team

10 Feb 2012 1 Comment

The super bowl is finally over. Now it’s time to start thinking about more important things like baseball. Fantasy Baseball. But most especially what would a fantasy Baseball team be like if I recruited Science Fiction characters to play on it?

Note: I do not own the copyright to any of these Characters. And I don’t mean to offend anyone. This is just a bit of Fun.

My Fantasy Baseball team using Sci Fi Characters

Dr.  Who is on First. Though as he pointed out he could very easily outfit the whole team with all of his regenerations. So for the sake of simplicity we will specify the 4th Doctor (played by actor Tom Baker) as our first baseman.

  James T. Kirk is on Second. It was his idea actually. You should have been there when he was trying to explain to Mr. Spock why having Dr. Who on first was funny.

  Luke Skywalkwer is on third. It’s a good place for him seeing as how he is part of a trilogy and all.

  Arthur Dent was going to be the short stop but he read in “the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy” that on the planet Vagas 4 The word “Short stop”  refers to a very poorly endowed male prostitute. So now he is off in right field having a cup of tea with Captain Picard. Also a very angry-looking Wookie made off with his towel and absolutely refuses to return it.

  Interestingly enough right field has been replaced with a halodeck, for the very reason that nothing ever goes out there anyway. Jean Luc Picard chose this position because he and Arthur quite agree that baseball is just not Cricket.

  In place of Arthur the angry-looking Wookie is the new Short Stop.

  Left Field is being held by William Robinson (Lost in Space). Will’s robotic companion, incidentally, turned out to be a very good cheerleader. Though it did seem a little confused, every time the ball came Will’s way it would shout, “Danger Will Robinson. Danger!” Dr. Smith unfortunately was benched; he was in too much pain to play.

  Center Field is the domain of Starbuck From Battlestar Galactica (The male Starbuck from the 70’s Not the female one)  Obviously because he likes to be the center of attention.

  The Pitcher is Alex Rogan (The Last Starfighter) because he managed to beat the high score in Wii Baseball.

  Captain Dylan Hunt (Andromeda) is the Catcher. This man survived in a black hole for three hundred years and then rebuilt a government from the ground up. If any one knows how to catch crap from everyone and then throw it right back at them it’s this guy.

  I really wanted Spock to be on my Team but he insisted that he was the only one logical and impartial enough to call the game fairly. So now Spock is the Umpire.

Let’s Play Ball!

 

Aside by C.O. Bonham

Spock’s Genealogy

01 Feb 2012 Leave a comment

by C.O. Bonham in Star Trek Tags: , , , ,

Here’s post number two. (The hint by the way was “even Vulcan Genealogy can be a worthwhile and rewarding endeavor.”)

Now anyone who has ever seen Star Trek should know that Mr. Spock is the one with the pointy ears. And they are pointy because he is half Vulcan. Vulcans are a race of Aliens that are all very logical and show very little emotion. Spock’s other half is Human.

 Now I’m sure that Spock’s Vulcan ancestry is all very interesting but what I really wonder about is Spock’s Human side. It takes two people to make least child so every generation adds an entirely new family tree on to the already extensive genealogy provided by just one parent. So it stands to reason that the family tree of Spock’s Mother would be long and distinguished all on its own.

 It also connects two 1960’s television shows. In the novel Star Trek #23: Ishmael written by: Barbara Hambly, the main plot has Spock stowaway on board a Klingon ship as it travels back in time on a mission to pave the way for an invasion of Earth’s past. After being discovered by the Klingons Spock is tortured but manages to escape unfortunately taking a bad case of Amnesia with him. Once on Earth Spock is befriended by a man named Aaron Stemple.

 Aaron Stemple is a Character from the TV series Here Come the Brides, a show about three brothers who own a logging camp inSeattle and decide to bring 100 women from back East to marry their bachelor workers.

 Now in the book Ishmael it is revealed that Spock’s Mother is a descendent of Aaron Stemple. The truly funny part of the story is that the actor who played Aaron Stemple on Here come the Brides, Mark Lenard, also played Spock’s Father Sarek on Star Trek.

 Only in Star Trek could a man in 1800’s Seattle share the same genetics as a Vulcan born five hundred years later and what’s more said alien actually marries one of his descendents.  Or should I put it more to the point and say, “only in little read fan fiction novels.”

 Very, little read it took this person 26 years to read it:

   http://doorq.com/2011/10/14/how-star-trek-met-here-come-the-brides-26-years-later/   

 The book is good but it is more Star Trek Fan Fiction than Here Come the Brides Fan Fiction. But it is still an interesting and little known anomaly in a large fan based universe. But please do yourself a favor and find Here Come the Brides on DVD if you have never seen it before you don’t know what you’re missing. Season Two comes out this spring.

Caucasia?

30 Jan 2012 1 Comment

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Well founded paranoia Tags: , , ,

 Sorry I’ve been dropping the ball lately on my blog posts I will try to get two up this week. Here’s #1 enjoy.  🙂

Where in the world is Caucasia and who are these Caucasians I keep hearing about?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Caucasia as a region in South East Europe between the Black and Caspian Seas, divided by the Caucasus Mountains into Ciscaucasia to the North and Transcaucasia to the South. A Caucasian is therefore an inhabitant of this area.

I keep seeing this nationality on applications and forms I have no idea who they are or even what their flag looks like.

The only thing I know for sure about them is that I am not one of them. I might be white but that is really just another way to say that you’re not Black or Hispanic. Actually that’s another thing about applications that I have noticed. There are like five different ways to classify Hispanics.

If there is an option to select “other” I will check that before anything else. Even if you don’t elaborate I think that “Other” is the most accurate term for an American to use anyway. We don’t really belong to those other countries, Cultures, and labels anymore (especially when you’re born here.) America was supposed to be the great melting pot where everyone was equal. We shouldn’t need racial classifications anymore because everyone is just American.

What do I write under Other? If there is room I write: I am an American of Anglo Germanic decent.
If there is very little room I write: American.

If there is no “Other” I check White. I am not offended by the word White. I am offended that these forms want me to claim that I’m from Caucasia when I am not. It’s kind of like this woman I met once, she said not to call her African-American because her family came from Ireland.

Needless to say that lacking an Other or White I will leave that section blank before I will claim myself as Caucasian.

Now don’t put words in my mouth here. By all means embrace your heritage and I am all for ancestral pride. Whether you’re Irish-American or African-American or even Vulcan, genealogy can be a fun and worthwhile endeavor.  Who knows maybe everyone has a little Caucasian in their blood.  

But until I know for sure I refuse to be counted among them.

 

P.S. There is a clue to my next post in here. Leave a comment and see if you can guess the topic before I post, hopefully, on Wednesday.

Tron: Allegory

20 Jan 2012 3 Comments

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Theological Musings Tags: , ,

The other night I was watching Tron and I suddenly had a revelation. The story line is a total metaphor for the gospel and the writers didn’t even try very hard to disguise it either. I’m sure that a lot of you will have a hard time seeing Kevin Flynn as Jesus Christ, he isn’t really his character is still only human after all, but the idea is there.

 It began when the Master Control Program (MCP) saw itself as equal to, nay, even greater than his Creator and began taking over his fellow created beings in order to gain more power. The MCP sounds a lot like Satan so far.

 Flynn is a User, a writer of code and a creator of Programs. He is transformed into a program by the MPC who sees Flynn as a threat and thinks that he can humiliate and destroy him on the gamming grid.

 Satan did not make God man. He doesn’t have that kind of power. Christ chose to become human and he chose to die. This makes Christ greater than Flynn.

 As a User Flynn finds that he has special powers that allow him to alter the way the virtual world operates.  And in the Scriptures Jesus performs many miracles in order to demonstrate the power of God.

 In the end Flynn throws himself into the MCP in order to give Tron a chance to destroy him. Just like Jesus sacrificed himself in order to save us his creations.

 Then there is the character of Ram, the faithful believer who is the first one to be graced with the knowledge that the creator walks among the created. He even uses the line “Oh My User,” and not in the shocked way that we humans exclaim “Oh My God.”

Another stunning parallel is the scene where Tron goes into the input tower to speak with Alan One. The reverence and the magnitude of the moment are similar to a high priest entering the Holy of Holies to speak directly with God. Which is pretty much what Tron is doing.

 I also love the opening of the movie, when the guard program throws the accounting program into the holding cell he calls him a “Religious nut.” Like I said, the movie makers certainly weren’t trying very hard to hide the symbolism.

It all still holds up even with the addition of Tron: Legacy to the Canon. In fact if you really think about it Tron: Legacy is really just the same movie only with better effects.

 Yes I realize that there is nothing new under the sun. Especially when the sun is a thirty year old movie with a cult following. Here are some other good articles that make the same observations I just did:

 www.overthinkingit.com/2009/09/29/tron-religious-subtext

 totallytawn.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/tron-legacy-and-religion

Wouldn’t you like to meet . . . Would you Really?

04 Jan 2012 Leave a comment

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Sherlock Holmes Tags: , , , ,

My first post of 2012. Everyone heard the old New years song that begins, “Should old acquaintance be forgot?” And I agree that they shouldn’t but fictional characters are a kind of acquaintance too so instead I ask the question, Should all acquaintance be met?

I am sure that everyone has felt attached to a fictional character before, a character that you have grown to know over the course of a good novel or a riveting movie. But even I have to admit that the most entertaining characters are without a doubt the ones that we would find most annoying in real life.

Take Sherlock Holmes for example: probably the most famous detective ever. There are even clubs made up of well-respected scholars and authors that are devoted to proving that the Doyle’s Holmes adventures really took place. If any of these devotees actually had the chance to meet a real life Sherlock Holmes would they still be so enthralled by him?

I love the Holmes stories and most of his screen incarnations but if I were left alone in a room with him would I still like him?

If I were ever to meet this man, in any of his various incarnations, I just know that my self-esteem would plummet. No matter what I say or how clever I think I am Sherlock would be sure to point out how much I overlooked or how wrong my reasoning or just how much more intelligent he is. I know I’m not as smart as Holmes but still no one likes being made to feel stupid. Not even Watson enjoyed the feeling of inferiority, yet he did put up with it. I am not as patient or forgiving as Watson.

The meeting might run something like this:

“Mr. Holmes it is a great honor I have read all about you.” A say with fan-girlish excitement.

“Oh don’t tell me that you read Watson’s exaggerated accounts that he publishes in that frivolous magazine.”

“Oh so you disapprove of Watson’s writing. But didn’t you write two adventures yourself?”

“Yes but I was in desperate need of cash at the time.” Sherlock grimaces in distaste. “Over all Writing is a waste of valuable time unless it is to either inform or instruct.”

“I see so you must not think very much of me then.” My pride is stinging by this point.

“No not really. From the pressure marks on your wrists I can tell that you have been typing recently and for a considerable length of time. Only the novelist gets so caught up in their work that they sit for so long a period. From the red irritation under your lower lip I tell also that you play the flute, an inferior instrument, and you last practiced sometime this morning as the spot is barely discernible save to my enhanced skills of observation. I noticed also that your clothing is out of fashion and well-worn. This tells me that you shun society and spend most of your days in your own home either creating worthless fiction or reading it. You lack both the intelligence and the motivation to ever amount to anything.”

Through my tears I manage to defend myself, barely, “I am intelligent. I have a 3.9 GPA and an Associate degree which I might add is more than you have Mr. Holmes. As for motivation it takes a lot of it to work through all the rewriting and revision that it takes to finish a work of fiction. A lot more than a true story where all of facts and everything are already there just waiting to be recorded.”

“I suppose you have a point. You don’t create any of that drivel known as Fan Fiction do you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Fan fiction is an inferior from of creativity and I would be loath to write about another’s creation when I know my own so much better.”

“Well thank goodness for that. If you turn around and describe to me my appearance exactly then I shall take back every ill word I have spoken about you.”

I turned and pictured him in my mind. “A brown deerstalker hat and in your mouth is a long steamed pipe. On your shoulders you wear a brown Inverness traveling cloak and trousers and shoes to match.” I turned and saw a bareheaded Mr. Holmes, empty mouthed and wearing evening attire, sadly shaking his head in disappointment.

It probably wouldn’t happen that way. In reality I would probably so in shock that I would most likely not say anything. I would think desperately of something to say but by the time was ready to speak Sherlock would have grown tired of waiting.

I can say that I am just not a people person but the truth is that when I become in awe of a character or even an actor I start thinking about how I would act or what I would say. Almost as if I would expect the meeting to change me. In reality though I am just me and I will still be me no matter who I’m meeting.

Works in Progress

31 Dec 2011 Leave a comment

by C.O. Bonham in Uncategorized Tags: , ,

Happy New Year. 

There is just enough time left in 2011 for one more blog post. the only question is what should I write about?  A lot has happened in 2011. I started a blog! I started a lot of books ( you can read two meanings into that and both would be correct). I also started a new job.

Yes a lot of starting happened in 2011.  But not much finishing.

As a writer I do not lack for Ideas. I have so many stories started that it is often  hard to choose just one to work on.

So my New years resolution is to actually finish all of the projects ( the short stories at least) in my “Work in progress” folder. 

Here’s an idea of what I’m working on:

“Much ado About You” — A short story full of Shakespearian misprision and conclusions jumped to too soon.  Shouldn’t take to long to finish I just need to know the legal consequences for accidentally faking a suicide.

“Expendable” — My love letter to Star Trek.  This is not a fan fiction I have created a new universe that has a different history and aliens. I want to say I’m almost finished but I have started over twice already and I will probably rewrite it yet again before I am happy with it. basically follows three “Red Shirts” on their first away mission.

“Recall from the Red Planet” — If you have read Left Behind then you can imagine what the rapture would do to a small community. Only this time the small community is a Martian colony. 

 “The Adventure of the Jewel Fence” — In 1900 Ohio a Sherlock Holmes Fan applies his idol’s methods to real life in order to solve his neighbor’s murder.

“A Merry Martian Christmas” — Yea this is the one about Santa Clause living on Mars.

That is just a sample of what I’m working on I have lots more but I think that these will be the priorities not that anyone can actually hold me to that.

Anyway hope you enjoyed 2011 may your 2012 be even better.

Christ is Christmas

22 Dec 2011 1 Comment

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Theological Musings, Uncategorized, Well founded paranoia Tags: , , , ,

You may have seen the various wall postings making their way around Facebook that tell you to keep Christ in Christmas.

The sad truth is that Christ never left Christmas. We did.

We leave by forgetting that Christmas is the birth of Jesus. By rushing and worrying and spending and wanting. When Christmas becomes “All I want for Christmas” instead of  “Good Christian men rejoice” then that is when we leave Christmas and actually kind of revert back to Black Friday (Hint: Not the same as Good Friday).

Christ-mas. See he’s still there. It is actually impossible for there to be a nonreligious holiday because holiday means Holy day.

What about Secular Christmas carols? Nope I’m sorry it’s still music that glorifies a Christian Holy day.

surprisingly it isn’t even Santa’s fault. We can’t even rightly blame the retail industry.

The real reason that so many people are forgetting what Christmas is, is because of this war that is being waged in the name of inclusion and tolerance. But these people, who claim to be all about not offending anyone, are too greedy to give up their yearly pile of gifts, so they tell themselves that the gifts are all that matter. Then they tell other people that it doesn’t matter what ancient beliefs started the holiday just give gifts anyway.

But the truth is that no matter what they believe every time some one says “Merry Christmas” they are acknowledging and condoning those ancient beliefs and the centuries of Faith that created the Holy day called Christmas.

So, Good Christian men rejoice, Joy to the world, “God bless us everyone,” and Merry Christmas.

Cathrine 🙂

 Here is some recommended movies to enjoy this Christmas:

How the Grinch Stole Christmas — Cartoon or live action the message in this story is so important. “It came, It came, It came just the same.”

A Christmas Carol — whichever version you choose remember that it isn’t actually about celebrating Christmas but about living a better life all year-long.

A Charlie Brown Christmas — yea Linus knows what he’s talking about.

P.s. if this offended you then good.  Again I say Merry Christmas!

Santa Clause is Coming from Mars

14 Dec 2011 1 Comment

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Well founded paranoia Tags: , , , , , ,

Merry Christmas everyone.  Here is a special holiday blog post for your enjoyment.

The entire surface of or planet has been mapped. This includes the North Pole. No one has ever found Santa Clause or his workshop. Elves don’t exist. Reindeer don’t fly and one person couldn’t visit every child in the world in one night.

 All Valid arguments against the existence of Santa and all of them wrong.

 Because everyone keeps forgetting to take into account the very obvious fact that Santa lives on Mars.

 Fact 1) Earth reindeer can’t fly  but Martian reindeer can.  The Mars deer is very much like earth reindeer only much smaller and they have rust red hair in order to blend in with the planet’s surface. They fly based on the principle of magnetic repulsion and are propelled by special webbing between their legs for catching the wind.

 Once when a Mars deer escaped after a Christmas eve flight it mated with an earth Reindeer and the resulting hybrid had a bioluminescent mucus that caused it’s nose to glow in the dark.

 Fact 2) Elves don’t live on Earth. They live on Mars. Just like we call ourselves Humans not Earthlings the Martian race of intelligent beings refer to themselves as Elves. The Elves of Mars stand about four feet tall and have what we might call a green complexion.

 Fact 3) We have completely explored our North pole. However, no human has ever set foot on the Martian North Pole. Santa’s base is located mostly underground due to the harsh environment on Mars. This explains why satellites have never been able to photograph it.

 Fact 4) Santa has been around a lot longer than anyone human could live. This is because Santa and his wife are actually from a race of long-lived humanoid aliens that came to our solar system in the early 1800’s.

 Fact 5) Santa couldn’t make it to every child in one night. At least not without his warp drive. The Mars deer make a great transport between houses in towns and cities but Santa needs something a little faster for going across oceans deserts and other large stretches of land. That is why Mrs. Clause waits for him at set rendezvous points with the O’ Christmas Tree. This high-speed craft not only provides fast transport but also stores the majority of the gifts. You didn’t really think that all those gifts would fit in the sleigh did you?

 Fact 6) No you can not use this as an idea for a story. I am already working on it.

 Fact 7) No Chimney? No problem. Santa uses a portable matter transporter to beam in and out of houses. Going down the chimney is just silly when you have a very high-tech, holly berry red, all-weather environment suit on.

 So if Santa is an Alien and the Elves are Martians then why do they waste every Christmas eve delivering gifts to Earth Children?

 Because a long time ago the creator of the universe decreed that he would visit our lowly planet. He took our form and became one of us so that he could die for us.

 Santa and his wife heard this and decided that in honor of the creator becoming a humble Earth child they would do something to bring happiness to the race that he held so dear. The Elves our nearest neighbors are happy to help honor the God child by assisting Santa.

Just remember when you open he presents on Christmas morning that in Santa’s eyes no gift that he can give will ever compare to the gift that our planet has already been given.

Joy to the World and Merry Christmas.

Cathrine

P.S. If you got coal in your stocking  a representative from NASA will be knocking on your door soon to confiscate it. Martian Coal  😉

There Is No I In . . .

05 Dec 2011 Leave a comment

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Theater Tags: , ,

There is no I in team. It’s a colloquial expression that might be technically true but is it really a valid expression of truth or just a platitude?

 T-E-A-M.

 No there is no letter I. But if you scramble the letters you get: AT ME. Which is short for “Hey Everyone Look At Me!” commonly abbreviated as MVP.

It is possible to have a team full of nothing but ball hogs.

 It is also possible to feel completely unwanted while on a team. Just ask anyone who was ever picked last or had to sit on the bench.

 Sport Teams only care about one thing. Winning. You may argue that the only thing that matters is to have fun and be a good sport but no one will believe you.

 It is interesting to note that there are other words that no one ever thinks to apply the “no I” principle to.  For example there is no I in Staff.  There is no I in squad, troop, group, or gang. There is no I in Band and there is no I in Theater.

 There is no Me, Myself, or I in Theater.

 There is no I in Cast, Crew or Troupe for that matter.

 Theater work is the perfect example of human beings working together for a shared achievement. There is no competition. Everyone has a role to fill. No one has to sit on the bench because no one is expendable. There are small actors not small parts.

 And before someone tries to make an argument using One man shows let me just say that even if the performer could get by without a Stage manager, Lighting crew, Tech Crew, Producer and the House Staff. He still needs an Audience.

 All of the people who buy tickets and enjoy the show they are part of the Theater too. They are the reason that the Theater exists. Without an audience there is no performance.

 Just from personal experience I know how excluded and alone someone can be on a “Team.”

 Also from personal experience I know the amazing feeling of being included that comes with working on a Theatrical production.

 In the Theater Everyone is important. If only, all the world really were a stage.

Weather Tis Vane to Comment

29 Nov 2011 7 Comments

by C.O. Bonham in Random Musing, Uncategorized, Well founded paranoia Tags: , ,

I was so excited when I first started getting comments on my blog but for some reason they were all in the spam pile. I am thinking, “What are all of these wonderful people who actually like my writing doing in the spam folder?” So I approved the comments and basked in the glow of positive feed back.

 Then I looked closely at where the comments came from. Most of them seemed to be just regular blogs like mine. But they all had the word Weathervane in the title.

 So I said ohhh kaaay and forgot it. Then recently I got some twelve or so comments in my spam folder at one time. They appeared to be from different people but when I clicked on them they all linked back to the same website. A website that sells weather vanes.

 So I ask: Why is it that the only people who read my blog are Weathervane enthusiasts?

 Am I prejudice against Weather Vanes?

 No.  Weather Vanes are both decorative and functional. But you can’t blame me for seeing some kind of conspiracy. Can you?

 Sorry if I offended anyone who left a genuine comment and honestly enjoyed my random musings.

 This just happens to be what I’m musing on right now, though something tells me that this anything but random.  I think that there might be a method behind the spam filter’s madness.

 So please by all means leave a comment. Feel free to praise my opinions or even disagree if you feel you must.

 For right now I am going to leave the settings alone so that I can continue to either approve or disapprove comments.

 I also realize that I am not very good at replying to comments. Sometimes though it is really hard to know what to say.

 So here are a few comment guidelines that will get you approved and maybe even get a reply:

 1) Say something about the subject of the post that you are commenting on. Do you agree/disagree? Did you think that it was clever/lame/too clever by half? What is your opinion?

 2) Do not ask me tech questions. I am not a blogging guru. I am not good with the technical stuff; I just type and post that’s it. I have no Idea what an RSS feed is.

 3) Try to avoid having anything to do with weather vanes. I am on to you. (If you do have the misfortune of having a weathervane related site please pay close attention to point one. That should get you accepted.

 4) Don’t try selling anything. I might let through a recommendation but never a blatant ad.

 And lastly

 If you really want me to reply to your comment you need to engage my interest. Have I met you before? Did you hear about me through Cross and Cosmos? Do you have an opinion on the post topic?  Does the post remind you of a book you read once? A TV show? Movie? I am more likely to reply to a reader who is engaged in the subject than one who just says, “I never thought about it that way before.” My opinion on the topic is already in the post so I guess I figure, “what else can I say?”

 I hope that helps. Again sorry if I sounded mean that really wasn’t my intention. But maybe these few suggestions will help you decide whether ‘t would be vain to comment or not.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries