Santa Clause is Coming from Mars

Merry Christmas everyone.  Here is a special holiday blog post for your enjoyment.

The entire surface of or planet has been mapped. This includes the North Pole. No one has ever found Santa Clause or his workshop. Elves don’t exist. Reindeer don’t fly and one person couldn’t visit every child in the world in one night.

 All Valid arguments against the existence of Santa and all of them wrong.

 Because everyone keeps forgetting to take into account the very obvious fact that Santa lives on Mars.

 Fact 1) Earth reindeer can’t fly  but Martian reindeer can.  The Mars deer is very much like earth reindeer only much smaller and they have rust red hair in order to blend in with the planet’s surface. They fly based on the principle of magnetic repulsion and are propelled by special webbing between their legs for catching the wind.

 Once when a Mars deer escaped after a Christmas eve flight it mated with an earth Reindeer and the resulting hybrid had a bioluminescent mucus that caused it’s nose to glow in the dark.

 Fact 2) Elves don’t live on Earth. They live on Mars. Just like we call ourselves Humans not Earthlings the Martian race of intelligent beings refer to themselves as Elves. The Elves of Mars stand about four feet tall and have what we might call a green complexion.

 Fact 3) We have completely explored our North pole. However, no human has ever set foot on the Martian North Pole. Santa’s base is located mostly underground due to the harsh environment on Mars. This explains why satellites have never been able to photograph it.

 Fact 4) Santa has been around a lot longer than anyone human could live. This is because Santa and his wife are actually from a race of long-lived humanoid aliens that came to our solar system in the early 1800’s.

 Fact 5) Santa couldn’t make it to every child in one night. At least not without his warp drive. The Mars deer make a great transport between houses in towns and cities but Santa needs something a little faster for going across oceans deserts and other large stretches of land. That is why Mrs. Clause waits for him at set rendezvous points with the O’ Christmas Tree. This high-speed craft not only provides fast transport but also stores the majority of the gifts. You didn’t really think that all those gifts would fit in the sleigh did you?

 Fact 6) No you can not use this as an idea for a story. I am already working on it.

 Fact 7) No Chimney? No problem. Santa uses a portable matter transporter to beam in and out of houses. Going down the chimney is just silly when you have a very high-tech, holly berry red, all-weather environment suit on.

 So if Santa is an Alien and the Elves are Martians then why do they waste every Christmas eve delivering gifts to Earth Children?

 Because a long time ago the creator of the universe decreed that he would visit our lowly planet. He took our form and became one of us so that he could die for us.

 Santa and his wife heard this and decided that in honor of the creator becoming a humble Earth child they would do something to bring happiness to the race that he held so dear. The Elves our nearest neighbors are happy to help honor the God child by assisting Santa.

Just remember when you open he presents on Christmas morning that in Santa’s eyes no gift that he can give will ever compare to the gift that our planet has already been given.

Joy to the World and Merry Christmas.


P.S. If you got coal in your stocking  a representative from NASA will be knocking on your door soon to confiscate it. Martian Coal  😉

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